I'm lost and stupid without you.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Randomize
