Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
