at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
