I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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