Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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