$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
