well he's currently spooning the coffee table
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
that is very illegal...i love you.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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