you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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