We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
