Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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