You smell like stripper and shame
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
