Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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