Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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