Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize