I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
