yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
