I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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