i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
