And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
