my sisters under your porch take her home
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize