So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
