so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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