Got a toothbrush?
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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