dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
