can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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