would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
