I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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