quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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