the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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