I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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