just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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