too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
