he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Randomize