I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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