just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
