They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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