we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
