she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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