I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize