I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
