Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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