There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize