dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
