the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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