I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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