One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
