I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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