well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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