508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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