Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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