I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
