she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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