he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
