hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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