Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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