bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
