Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
