Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
