Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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