walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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