Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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