Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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