i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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