I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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