We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
