I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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