take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
