hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
