ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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