She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
