grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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