I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
