is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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