gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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