Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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