i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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