sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
you never un-have a 4some
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
