Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
